The planet is fine. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. Aparently we're not ready for that! A = p.createElement(s); Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. The table is tilted, folks. It doesnt only represent the good things. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. It always has been. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. George Carlin 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.' Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. I look at war a little. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. var node = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. Enjoy! }, , I hate groups of people. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. "Never argue with an idiot. Thank you! window.Mobvious = {}; Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. I've set my own rules to live by. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). 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If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. You have owners. Theres no present. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. American I hate a group of people with a common purpose. //]]> Government is an important institution. You have no choice. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. (?) googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. You know what they ought to do with churches? Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, 16. > Quotable Quote. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. What exactly is viewer discretion? Thats the problem. You and I are not in the big club. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. In America, anyone can become president. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Its important in life if you dont give a shit. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) //]]>. George Carlin "The planet is fine. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? And fight songs. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. But once youre born, youre on your own. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. George Carlin. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Quotes. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? 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George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. } catch (err) { And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. } Theyre all in favour of the unborn. #privileges. Ever. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. And armbands. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. Source; . When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Laugh often, long and loud. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. Right in the fucking head! George Carlin. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. In America, anyone can become president. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. } If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. That's the problem. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Your email address will not be published. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("grsession", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. " George Carlin It creates a hostile work environment. Because theres no money in that problem. Its interested in its own power. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Others see it half empty.I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be.George Carlin, Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. "I have certain rules I live by. Enjoy! George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. BAM! Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Cause pretty soon they have little hats. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. They should be more vivid. They own everything. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. Property is theft. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. (function () { ' George Carlin, 56. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English.
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